Lindsay Lohan needs to be gaped

Just looking at that first picture confuses me. My instinct is to close the door, get down on my knees, drop my shorts and jack. But then I think of Lindsay's sordid history and I'm like...damn, you never know what's been in that ass. I think from hereon in, I'd prefer to see Lindsay in a gape movie with Manuel Ferrera.

J-Lo's assets

So it's been awhile since we've gazed at J-Lo's ass. To tell you the truth, I don't think I can jack off to her anymore. Not sure what it is, perhaps the two kids, perhaps it's her getting older, perhaps it's the fact that she's been married twenty times. Don't know. Butt, she is still lovely in some way. Maybe it's just a sign of the times as to what constitutes beauty. Or jack-offable beauty, that is.

Chelsea Handler naked

There was a time a couple of years ago when I found there to be something half dirty/sexy about Chelsea. But the closer I looked at her, the less attracted I was because I actually started to think she was dirty. Anyway, she's damn funny, so check her out!

Katrina Darrell, aka Bikini Girl is back

She lost it, why even try. You had your fifteen minutes of fame. Now, you should do some porn. You know who I would approach if I were you? I'd approach Manuel Ferrera, Nacho Vidal, or Rocco Siffredi. Any of those stallions would make a star out of you. Mind you, you'd probably never walk the same way again, and would probably need a butt-plug for the rest of your life, but hey, at least people would stroke off to you for years to cum.

Jessica Biel's ass on a stick

If I could be anything, it would be that pipe or pole. Even if she hadn't wiped that day, I'd love to be that pole. I would love it.

Gisele Bundchen makes me horny

Even though I typically don't like supermodels, you have to give it to Gisele. She has a bit of a Nazi type appearance that makes you either want to a) be dominated by her or b) you dominate her.

Kim Kardashian's ass-ian

I think you need a long dick to properly fuck a girl with a big ass. I mean, in doggystyle, if there is too much meat, then your waist will hit her ass cheeks before your dick gets very far in - thereby making you stuck in the missionary position if you want to fuck.

Edyta Sliwinska's panties

God I love how this girl prances around half naked while training. I'm not sure how each of her partners don't "spring a leak" while they're dancing with her. I want to worship various parts of her eastern european carcass.

Lisa Rinna's bikini ass

I wanna stick my thing-a ina Lisa Rinna. I mean, she's older, but she has that plastic surgery look which can make an older woman seem more attractive. How many times have I jacked off to the likes of that porn star, Houston. Even though she was nasty, that's what made me hornier. Here I cum Lisa. Here I cum.

PS: Nick Danger, I'm feeling much better today brother!

Eva Mendes is naked

I love Eva Mendes. Ever since I saw her in Hitch. I was disappointed about her drug issues, but who cares. I want to cuddle with her vagina.