Carrie Underwood's shorts need cleaning

The only thing I want to do is eat Carrie Underwood's shorts. Remember when Bart Simpson used to say "Eat my short, man". Well, I never quite understood what the hell that meant until today. I look at Carrie and want to eat her shorts. And to the perverted anonymous guy who keeps posting vile and disgusting comments on this blog (keep it up by the way, you make me look like a saint), I'm sure he'd want to eat her shorts after she's sweat in them for a long time. And maybe even had her period in them.